Schwarze Herren Schokolade, Bitte.


I was in Germany earlier this week.

Schwarze Herren Schokolade

Black Man's Chocolate?

It was for a family reunion on my mother’s side, and I had a great time.

One of my sisters picked up this chocolate bar for me, thinking about Black Fives, she said, and knowing that I would just, well, eat it up.

Her instincts were right.

“Schwarze Herren Schokolade” translates to “Black Man’s Chocolate” in English.

This could come in handy, I thought, even if only for a devilish blog post.

Oh, can’t you just see the delicious, tempting possibilities? It’s a Freudian dream.

Would you like to try some of this Black Man’s Chocolate? It’s really tasty, try it, you’ll love it.

The first thing I thought of was the Chocolate Coeds, that wonderful all-black women’s basketball team of the 1930s.

Now, Germans are nice people. Sometimes old fashioned and often rigid. Kind, thoughtful, fun loving. But definitely not backwards.

So, I knew there was an explanation for this. I decided to ask my Aunt Gertrud.

“Why is this called Schwartze Herren Schokolade,” I asked her.

Is it Black Man’s Chocolate, as opposed to Women’s? Or is it Black Man’s Chocolate, as opposed to White?

Gertrud looked me in the eyes and said, “Jah, that’s a special dark chocolate with extra strong herbs, jah, Gewürtze, that are specially for men.”

She looked at me as if I was supposed to know this. It’s selbstvertändlich, isn’t it? Self-explanatory.

Be open; get your mind out of the gutter, I told myself.

So, O.K., I think I get it.

It turns out, Black Man’s Chocolate, made in Berlin by Stollwerk (which includes the Sarotti division) is some of the finest bittersweet chocolate known to man.

Meanwhile, in fact, by definition, there could be no such thing as Black Women’s Chocolate or even White Man’s Chocolate. It would have to be called “Zarte Frauen Schokolade” or, translated, Tender Women’s Chocolate. It wouldn’t be dark and bitter and spicy and hard, like a man. No, it would be milky, delicate, soft, and sweet, like a woman.

There’s no such thing as dark, bitter, spicy white chocolate, either, apparently.

If you look at it that way.

German Family ReunionGerman Family ReunionGerman Family Reunion

My Aunt Gertrud shares a devilish laugh with my sister.

But since my Aunt Gertrud showed no sign of embarrassment or perverse American racial phobia, whatsoever, I decided to accept what she said. Her perspective offers more diabolical possibilities.

My cousin, Hans-Lothar, on the other hand, saw this as an opportunity to take me where my mind was already going. He’s younger, with a sense of humor that’s both loving and wicked (like most Germans).

“And, it’s only for black men,” he shouted from another room.

Of course, now that I have the bar, I’m never gonna eat it myself. Can you imagine what that would sound like?

Have you tried some Black Man’s Chocolate? I have, and it’s pretty good.

Another approach might be to offer a taste to an attractive female. Always with a smile on your face, of course.

The great thing about Black Man’s Chocolate is that you don’t have to be black, or African, or African American, or of African descent … to eat it, or to offer it.

Say if you’re a white guy. You go to Germany. You buy some Black Man’s Chocolate. You bring it back to America. (Try to keep a straight face as you tell the U.S. Customs Agent that you have some Black Man’s Chocolate in your pants.)

Hey, didn’t I warn you this could get dark, and bitter, and spicy?

Anyway, now that you’re back in, say, Ohio or West Virginia, go up to some attractive woman, be she Caucasian or African American or any other ethnicity or “color”, and say, “Have you ever tried some Black Man’s Chocolate?” Be sure to have the bar ready to whip out. And a smile.

Now, be honest, don’t you secretly wanna know the answer anyway?

Ladies, you already know you don’t have to answer if some guy asks you this question.

Guys, any and all possible responses after your initial question will be gravy.

Unless the response is, “Why, you got some??”

In which case you can either say, “You betcha,” and offer her your bar (and possibly run), or “Yup, but can you handle it?” Always with a smile.

But what if she says, “Yes!”

Oh, God. Now what?

Easy. You just say, “Bet it wasn’t as good as mine.” (Be sure to produce that bar … and a smile.)

Either way, you broke through some invisible barriers that up ’til now you thought held you back.

Maybe you even improved race relations in America.

Brothers, if I have to tell you what to do with this bar then you and I need to have a little talk in private. Always with a smile, though.

Now, there’s a lesson in this, isn’t there? It’s to be open to perspectives, isn’t it? Everything isn’t always only in black and white, is it?

Black Fives, the company and the brand, exists because people love culture, so even though it’s about African Americans, it’s really for everyone. The same way that any other cultural history is for everyone.

And the same way that, well, Black Man’s Chocolate is really for everyone.

So, have some fun with this. Let go. Live a little.

Have some Black Man’s Chocolate.

If you’re in Germany, ask for it by saying, “Eine Schwartze Herren Schokolade, bitte!”

With a smile!

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Elliott
8 years ago

I buy this from a German deli here in the states. I love it so much I finally had to Google it, I thought the translation was wrong when it kept saying it was black men chocolate–how funny… Love the blog, fun read.

eben
14 years ago

And to follow up:

Interesting then, that all the obvious stereotypes that this misunderstanding elicits were invoked in THIS blog and its comments section, not as something inherent in the chocolate bar.

That is, on the one hand we want to rid society of the harmful and antiquated artifacts of its racist past, but the work of this involves looking for, finding and isolating these artifacts in order to denunciate them as such. In the end, we end up finding what we are looking for, even when it is not there. We demand that it exist in order to validate our (absolutely legitimate) concerns.

Freud’s word for this condition is itself one of these contentious artifacts:

“hysteria”

I fell for the same ruse this chocolate bar unintentionally poses to us. We are all hysterical.

eben
14 years ago

I was also recently in germany and stumbled upon these chocolates at the local kaufland. After joking about them with friends back home, I brought it up with a german/irish friend of mine who explained that ‘schwarze Herren’ is a somewhat antiquated term that denotes man of class, wealth and relative importance- I assumed the black would have referred to a black suit, tie and hat, like a lawyer, landlord or the like, would have worn.

Mignon
15 years ago

I love it. I have got to get me some. I’m so glad you shared. There is no way that you could’ve kept this one to yourself. Your sister definitely knows you all too well.

[…] Sex Schwarze Herren Schokolade, Bitte. […]

Claude
15 years ago

claudette … Oh my! I couldn’t resist.

Gail, I can’t tell you how to behave this weekend, but I did look around online and found a couple of places to order, although I can’t vouch for them. :-)

Claire
15 years ago

I’ve always had mixed thoughts about the Germans (and maybe all Europeans) in general and their sense of propriety or sensitivity regarding race – not just toward African Americans, but toward any non-German or non-European peoples. On the one hand, Germans appear to be committed and almost overly sensitive to dissociate themselves from their nationalistic past, and on the other hand, they exhibit a certain obliviousness to what others would consider blatantly racist.

Even if the translation of Schwarze Herren Schokolade is technically not offensive or inappropriate or loaded, it is so from a sociocultural perspective. Why not call it Bitter Herren Schokolade, or Dunkeles (Dark) Herren Schokolade? They say Dunkeles Bier … not Schwarze Bier.

A couple of years ago, a public official here in DC used the word “niggardly” (which means miserly or stingy) in a statement about some financial issue in the city. He was raked over the coals for it; accused of being racist and I think he even resigned as a result. His use of this word was totally correct and appropriate from a technical perspective, but it was too inflammatory and offensive from a sociocultural perspective.

Indeed, the Schwarze Herren Schokolade has a nostalgic value, but it seems out of place and out of time. Still, we can laugh about it because we can put this into perspective. What I’m not sure about is which perspective the Germans put this into.

Here’s another quick story along these lines from our trip. Whenever I travel, I look for a nearby gym to workout. There were two in the neighborhood. The first one I went to had a larger-than-life Sambo statue at the entrance to the weight room and I decided I’d go to the other gym instead. Got to the second one and was greeted at the entryway by a statue of a cigar store Indian!

WZ
15 years ago

Love your blog, Claude!
I grew up with “Schwarze Herren Schokolade” – my father’s favorite, which actually translates into “Black Gentlemen Chocolate”. Very distinctive taste…as your Tante Gertrud already said “it is especially for men”… -I’m not a big bitter-sweet fan either, though thank you for bringing back “Schwarze Herren Schokolade” memories- as a child I always found it to be a very mysterious and special chocolate- especially based on its unique packaging and elegant name-your blog finally brought me the answer I was looking for back then- thank you for that!

Claude
15 years ago

shreedove, I feel your dilemna! I ain’t touchin’ the stuff myself! :-) Never did like bittersweet.

Lawrence
15 years ago

My sister also bought me a bar of the Black Mans Chocolate but I didn’t know about the special Gewürtze that are especially for men until you asked Aunt Gertrud and got her answer. I think she ought to know. Based on her statement, I am inclined NOT to eat the chocolate now because my dark and bitter and spicy and hard body doesn’t need its special properties right now. So therefore, I am inclined to save that bar of chocolate for 15 or 20 years in a cool dry place right next to my vintage looking Converse All Star Revolution sneakers until I do need it; and then I’ll eat it with a smile.

martez jerome
15 years ago

Claude,
you have now officially open the flood gates with this blog and with this post, helped those introverted brothers who have never had a viable means to start the conversations they would like to lead to this type of dialogue. Intriguing!

martez

shreedove
15 years ago

as a black man and a chocolate lover this blog has left me a bit confused. am i, a black man, allowed to eat the black man’s chocolate? if i offer some black man’s chocolate to an unsuspecting female; how long should i wait before producing the candy bar? and what are these “special properties” that aunt gertrude spoke of? the only thing i am sure of is that i can’t wait to get my hands on some black man’s chocolate of my very own. wait, should a black man have just said that?….see what i mean. thanks claude.

Mike C.
15 years ago

Claude you’ve out done yourself this time. Being a Black Man and a Chocoholic I’m extremely excited about obtaining this confection, but a bit perplexed about the “special properties” your Aunt Gertude alluded to in the article. Be well my friend and eat plenty of BM chocolate! LOL ;>)

TAWANDA!
15 years ago

Well. This only confirms the international application of what I have maintained for years. Some things are best when they are strong, dark and rich. Chocolate is near the top of that list!

dp
15 years ago

aunt gertrude is rockin’ that leather jacket…

ausgezeichnet!

Brian I.
15 years ago

That was a funny blog Claude :). BMC, the new status symbol to rival BMW.

Claude
15 years ago

Maybe I’ll just change careers and write about chocolate! I didn’t realize chocolate was so popular!

I just got this email that I feel I must share:

I loved your post on ” Black Man’s Chocolate” as a Pastry Chef I find the possible uses for such a product to be exciting to the point of dizzying !

Black Man’s Chocolate Souffle?|
Black Man’s Chocolate Cake?
Black Man’s Chocolate Orgasm ( chocolate orgasm is a legit dessert ! )

I could go on….and on…and on…

Thanks again – you really brought a smile to my day!

As claudette said above: “Oh my!”

Somebody turn on the A/C!

Gail Titus
15 years ago

I want to taste some ‘Black Man’s Chocolate’! Hmm…that came out oddly…
How can I order some?

claudette
15 years ago

Oh my! Maybe we should open a candy store in West Virginia or Kentucky and ONLY sell ‘Black Man’s Chocolate’

ana walker
15 years ago

sounds good to me….can’t wait to get some :) i will tell my friends in zurich to find me some and send it over!!!

15 years ago

Hmmmm….black man’s chocolate. Enuff said!!!

Claude
15 years ago

WZ, thanks for sharing your memories! I didn’t realize the mysterious allure of this bar! There oughta be a Schwarze Herren Schokolade Club out there somewhere, right?! And I agree, the word “Herren” translates accurately to “Gentlemen” as in “Meine Darmen und Herren” which is like “Ladies and Gentlemen!”